Hi @baa
I am praying for you, crossing my fingers that very soon you will be called to the Vanderbilt Epilepsy Monitoring Unit.
Meanwhile, try to enjoy life and the present moment, though I know how hard this could be. When we get anxious about something, it usually does not help. It seems, according to my life experiences, that me more anxious we get about something, it somehow blocks energy, and things do not happen.
No creating expectations in your situation can be quite hard. In difficult times during my epilepsy journey, my yoga teacher gave me a daily exercise, which helped me quite a lot, something I try to keep daily up to today. She said to think about three contentments at the end of the day. At first, I could only celebrate having no seizures during the day, but little by little, I could see other contentments in my day. It is an exercise that helps us see the glass half full instead of half empty and celebrate what we have in the present moment, instead of thinking about what we do not have and wish to happen. Give it a try!
Wishing you all a beautiful day!
Chris (@santosha)