@melissa123 Since you wrote that your daughter did not use alcohol in the past and is now using it to self-medicate then the alcohol use could turn into an addiction. That would be a terrible outcome to a series a problems that can be better managed by medical and mental health care. But....she has to want this for herself and stick with it. You can suggest and recommend and provide her with moral support but it's something she has to decide to do on her own.

I feel for your daughter-in-law too and how her anxiety and alcohol use is affecting her and by extension her family. If she wants to save herself first then her family will benefit from your daughter-in-law taking an active role in her own treatment. Here is the metaphor that applies to this situation: Put on your own oxygen mask before you put the oxygen mask on your children.