It’s amazing how many of us caring for our loved ones, are essentially abandoned by our siblings, adult children, family members. I am the mother of three biological children, and five stepchildren, all eight are successful adults, and have adult children. And there are 15 grandchildren.

One would think that my home, which has always welcomed all of them, would have visitors, or phone calls or…Not so. The phone almost never rings, the visits are nonexistent and every thing is on my shoulders.

Whenever I take my husband to a medical appointment or other assessment, an update goes out to everyone with a day. I keep asking the kids to call, come over, what would they like to do for dad’s birthday. Usually I host a get together but now the Alzheimer’s has progressed to the point where it is two visitors at a time. So, I made out a time sheet for two weekends and his birthday and said take a look and tell me when you’d like to come. Two came. Two of my three. My son lives in Ottawa and came on the following weekend.

The lack of involvement by my stepchildren : seeing, and talking with their dad makes me angry and very sad. But, and here is where I’ve ended up: this is my stepchildren’s problem and issue. And I will not let other people’s behaviour rob my loved one and me from sharing a joyful life in the time we have left. So we laugh, play, hug and kiss. And I celebrate each day.

May G-d bless and keep all caregivers safe.