Hi @kelster69, I am sorry to hear they are no longer working. It does sound like the clinic you are going to isn't a good one. That is an issue with insurance not covering this and a lot of doctor's not recognizing that it works for some people. The fact that it did seem to work initially would seem to me like it should keep working though you are going through a real crappy time. My cousin also does the ketamine IVs every three months and then uses the nasal spray in between treatments. That could be an option.
The death of your parents is enough to set anyone into a depression. It's possible that the ketamine is still working for you, but that you are going through a natural grieving process right now which feels just like depression. I'm not a psychiatrist so I could be completely wrong here. I do remember being told that the ketamine will help but if you are going through a lot of stressors, you can fall right back into depression even with the treatments. Are you seeing a therapist or someone to talk to about the grief and other issues? Medication can do a lot but so can talking to people about the problems.
As for how I am doing, I got back with my wife for almost a year and then she was right back to the same crap as before, though with yelling at my daughter for getting a 4 instead of a 5 on her AP global exam. The ketamine is working fine for me still. I am actually handling things better though I still have a lot of down days. Those down days are still so much better than before. I go to a pretty good clinic in Rochester, NY. I do wish that the FDA would approve the treatment but there isn't any money for big pharma so there won't be any trials done.
I really hope that you can find some relief from the depression.