standinginfaith, I appreciate your input. On torturous/redundant flexures... I have come to believe that the idiots we were all raised to "trust, because they are so smart ", actually have a class in med school titled DO NOT EVER, EVER TELL PATIENTS ABOUT TORTUOUS/REDUNDANT FLEXURES, YOU ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL THE PATIENT ASKS WHAT IS THIS ON MY CT SCAN?
I have learned that 99.9% of redundant flexures(extra long, loopy large colon) we are born with. The twists may not always be congenital, but definitely can be. This one singular issue has GIGANTIC PROBLEMS in the movement of our 💩💩💩.
Regarding the biblical part, I have no problem with those who get relief from prayer, that God/Jesus loves us all, but we must repent and strive to not be sinners. I was raised in a very loving religious family, it was great for me then. God never gives us more than we can handle....what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger (there are songs about this). Well, I don't feel that way. 17 years ago I was in 2 recreational accidents; ocean and snow. Between the injuries not being taken seriously enough by many drs., because the damage is not easily seen or fixed. This under treatment, for years, has triggered avalanches of problems, the kind you don't connect with injuries. I don't really believe this, but I constantly feel like God must be punishing me for not being good enough for anyone's help.
I have to lie on the dam PHQ-9 form that lots of non mental health professionals insist upon using the form. A GI dr does not need to know that I think of suicide every single day, because of the pain, the pain, and more pain. He doesn't need to know that my cognitive impairment, that I try to hide, got so bad that I had my employee tell my hubby that I was making more and more mistakes than I did after the accidents. That it was getting harder to keep my clients from knowing that I was making mistakes and my employees were fixing them for me and them. I owed an accounting and tax firm, that we had to sell, because I was too stupid to do it correctly anymore. No amount of believing in God is going to give me my smart brain back. I am of no use in anything and reading that I need to repent....for what?? I still appreciate your kindness in trying to help me understand the prior comment. The big hugs are nice too. ShelleyW