Thank you for the book recommendation: Travels to Unimaginable Lands. Excellent read with good anecdotes and examples to clarify points. I am reading it quickly and then will go back and read it again to make sure I didn't miss something. I am in the process of placing my husband in Memory Care very soon...just writing those words stabs my heart. I think of it as a six month trial for both of us. Nothing is in stone, but I have to take a break from under the rock I'm living under right now. My husband's ALZ seems to be pushing him into a rapid decline. I don't expect him to know his birth date, but I wasn't prepared for him to forget how to use the toilet and chose a wastepaper basket instead. Friends and family are in total support of moving him to get professional help; however, I still feel overwhelmed with guilt. It is hard to put myself first, but in this case, I really have to do something. The caretaking role isn't sustainable for me. I've experienced instances of aggression that I know can get worse. I had hoped for a level playing field after settling in after a move near our daughter, but it is much more of a downward slide. All I can do is give it a go and hope for the best for both of us. The facility is five minutes from our home, so quick visits done often will be my goal. I want to be a cheery friend visiting..he doesn't recognize me as his wife of 57 years. I really feel like a deer caught in the headlights much of the time. I appreciate having a forum to share our journeys. Somehow it lightens the load knowing that I'm not alone with this struggle. I would like to hear from others who have experienced a successful move for their spouse into a memory care facility. It might make it feel less overwhelming. I've ordered a Hawaiian poster for his room. He might not remember it, but we met on Waikiki Beach in 1964. If nothing else, the poster will make me smile when I visit him