Its just 4 months since I was told I had cancer. I am having a difficult time processing all this. My chemotherapy will ends Dec 9 but the uncertainty will not. I'm adding more treatment. I want it all. I really don't want to decline because of cancer.
I am religious, but my prayers are guarded. I don't want to treat God l like a magic genie who will grant my wish. It's been my experience he has seldom granted me my wish in the past. I've had to just figure out how to move on. I don't understand the Job story. I know it was to show how Job had unwavering love for God, but dang did God really have to make him go through all that? The is so mean. Same thing with Jesus. He asked to be let out of his suffering, but nope that's not what happened. See what I mean. For this earth God's not very helpful and it doesn't matter how strong our faith is either.