Notifying work

I'm ok with people I haven't seen for a while telling me I seem much healthier than they expected.

I've worked my a** off the last 3 years to get here (from hospital bed to wheelchair to walker to cane to being able to pass as non-disabled during long walks), so I choose to take it as an acknowledgement of my hard work rather than a dismissal of my illness.

Sure, I'm dealing with a lot of challenges they can't see, but disabled ≠ unable, and stage 4 cancer doesn't have to look like the patronising pity stereotypes on TV shows. Dealing with this disease is a sign of strength, not helplessness. 💪

What an awesome attitude. That's exactly the approach.

This is starting to annoy me.
Last day at work & final messages are coming through.

"Sorry to hear that you are unwell and have to leave us temporarily"

Why is it so taboo?
If I told them I was having a sex change, they'd be telling me they're proud of me.
Damn.

Every time I feel sorry for myself and then read one of your posts. I feel inspired to never give up.

You’re awesome!

Bob

I have an equally vexing issue.. I am applying for work, having relocated to the US for love, I am palliative stage 4, treating with Eligarde and Apalutamide.
1st question.. do you tell prospective employers? (Not doing so sits poorly with my personal integrity) and 2 how have y'all dealt with the hot flushes in the work place, even remote working, it's obvious when I get a hot flush.. thoughts. Doing presentations being in meetings it's pretty obvious somethings not right..

On the one hand telling them may mean you are not hired (due to discrimination) on the other I understand your integrity concerns. Maybe disclose it with a job you are not that interested in and see the reaction?

Not sure what I would do but according to this you are not obliged to (I don't know if this is accurate).
https://chatgpt.com/share/66ed899a-ae90-8013-aef6-ad53f966e4b6

You make a good point. When it came time to tell work I would be away , I told them " I have prostate Cancer and have to undergo treatment that will take me off line as a pilot for 2-3 months , If you have to make any announcement about my absence, which is usual, Please tell them: "I am OK, and needs an operation for Protate Cancer, and will be back in 2-3 months. James urges all the guys to get regular Protate PSA blood checked and such... as we all work in a high radiation environment around RF equipment/radios/radar/Nav equipment and Solar and Gamma rays at altitudes up to 40,000 feet . Be proactive about your health" . HR put out : " James is sick and will be away , we don't know when he will be back, flight Op's has filled his slots on overseas runs " . that generated 40 + phone calls from worker friends wishing me well and trying to find out what happened . I told them flat out . DONT HIDE PROSTATE CANCER ... OUR FINDING DEPENDS ON US OPENING IT UP ! ...this is my best advise ! I still shake mehead at our evil HR department ! HA!! After operation of 3 years ago and External beam radiation 2 years ago my PSA is very low at 0.041 and a decreasing vector on graph . Life is good ! God Bless guys ...you have this ! James on Vancouver Island .

There are ways to control the hot flashes.

My oncologist put me on quarterly depo-provera shots after I had really strong hot flashes for a year. That almost completely ended the problem.

I know someone that says eating tofu every day stopped his hot flashes.

There are other hormone solutions, ask your oncologist about a solution.

You probably want to tell your employer, but if it is a small company they may not want you on their insurance since your medical expenses are much higher than average and could drive up the whole companies costs.

If you're applying for a job where an illness could legally bar you from working, like (say) airline pilot, or *maybe* if they have to provide E&O insurance for you (e.g. as a contractor), then yes, you have to disclose. Otherwise, as long as you can do the work, it's none of their business.

I'd like to propose an alternative integrity scenario. Imagine if every young woman were forced to disclose whether she was considering getting pregnant in the next 3 years when she was interviewing for a job (!!!) Countries have these privacy laws for a reason, and if the job applicants who feel more secure take advantage of them, that makes it easier for vulnerable people to do the same.

I've also heard (on the folk-remedy side) that pressing a cool pack against your inner wrist can stop hot flushes.

In the end, a small desk fan, a small towel, and a spare clean shirt are probably the best investments for handling hot flushes at work.