@dovebeloved Oh, dear. I had so hoped that the family surrounding you would be listening to you instead of giving you advice that isn't particularly helpful. I'm going to share some things that I have learned.

We often want to know what caused the cancer we are experiencing. In fact, some people asked me this. For me, I had risk factors (according to research) of never having children and going through menopause later in life. That's all I could find out. So, it was nothing I did or didn't do (other than make the decision not to have children).

Eating healthy is a great plan. For everyone. Would you like to do this? This is especially the case for those of us who are cancer survivors, experiencing cancer for the first time and especially while undergoing treatment. Is there a nutritionist with expertise in cancer that you can consult with? Perhaps your oncologist can make a referral?

Reading and praying every day is a source of support. Do others at your religious organization know about the cancer? If yes, is there a prayer circle for you?

You are going through a very difficult time and carrying the burden of your family will only weigh you down even more. The image of carrying a backpack full of rocks comes to my mind. Imagine that you are carrying that backpack and every one of those large rocks is a family member. Please pray to have those rocks lifted from your backpack and placed back where the rocks belong. On the ground. In order for that to happen I suggest to pray for the courage to tell your family what you do and do not need from them. "I know you love me and you want me to survive this terrible cancer. I want that to. Telling me what you think I should and should not be doing isn't helping. It makes me feel worse. I know you mean well. I really do. Please listen to me when I share what helps me the most. Please say healing prayers for me. That will help me".

The best support we can offer one another is to sit quietly next to one another and listen. Just listen.

You will be in my prayers. I’ll pray for complete healing and peace during this difficult time in your journey.
You sound like an amazing human being. 💗

I have had similar issues with some of my family members not knowing what to say or saying the wrong things. The best advice I have received comes from my oncology team when I started treatment (8 months of chemo and radiation), "One day at a time. Don't think about all that is to come, you will be overwhelmed. Just take it one day at a time." I have found that to be so true, whenever I start to feel stressed or depressed, I remind myself...one day at a time.
The other advice that has helped is from a therapist, it's ok to feel the feelings just don't live there. So I allow myself some grace on the days it hits me the hardest, and then pull myself together and try to refocus on something positive.
I have asked myself so many times--why me? But there's really no answer for it. Maybe I should be asking why not me? There are so many stories of people getting cancer so much younger than I am. I'm thankful for good medical care and hopeful to moving on with life after.