1. < Prostate Cancer

Notifying work

Posted by peterj116 @peterj116, Sep 18 9:24pm

Just venting......

When telling work colleagues, were you coy about it, or did you use the C word straight away?

I'm a computer tech, supporting 500 users at a library and an art gallery.
Lovely people & I've been very open about my prostate cancer from day one.
That's partly because another tech had esophageal cancer and kept it to himself until the day he died. Quite a shock for everyone.

So I've been very open with every user I see frequently. They've all been lovely, but most have been told by Management that my 6-week absence from work is for medical reason - to "protect my privacy".
Bugger that. I'm telling everyone who asks.

But I got an email from one user saying: "Hi Pete, I have just heard you aren't going to be around for a while - no details, just enough for me to become concerned about the reason for your absence.
Whatever it is, if it isn't good - every best wish for it to proceed smoothly and result in a positive outcome.
If it is good - Enjoy.
We look forward to your safe return."

Another one said "What is this about your being away 6 months? Everyone has been saying 6 months! I started to panic a little".

Although I tell anyone who asks, to be honest, it's getting harder to explain that I have cancer over & over again as the surgery date draws near.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Prostate Cancer Support Group.

robertmizek | @robertmizek | Sep 18 10:09pm

I’ve always been a what you see is what you get guys so I shared the truth and hopes that the other guy is my age or at risk for prostate cancer could learn something.

The truth is, a lot of people don’t know what to say, and often say the wrong thing I’ve gotten used to it.

Good luck next week.

REPLY
1 reply
peterj116 | @peterj116 | Sep 18 10:13pm
In reply to @robertmizek "I’ve always been a what you see is what you get guys so I shared the..." + (show)
@robertmizek

I’ve always been a what you see is what you get guys so I shared the truth and hopes that the other guy is my age or at risk for prostate cancer could learn something.

The truth is, a lot of people don’t know what to say, and often say the wrong thing I’ve gotten used to it.

Good luck next week.

Jump to this post

Thankyou. One of the guys at my daughter's work, on being told about prostate removal, said "that's ok... at least he's got his other one". What?

REPLY
1 reply
akiwi | @akiwi | Sep 19 4:57am

Personally, I told no one at work since I didn't want all the sympathy and awkward conversations (especially since we had a team mate die of cancer just months ago).
I was only able to do that because my job (software development) is very flexible and I worked through 28 RT sessions a few months ago (just booking the time off).

I only told family since I wanted them to get checked.
It's an individual thing and depends on what you are comfortable with.
Good luck with the surgery.

REPLY
1 reply
stevecando54 | @stevecando54 | Sep 19 5:04am

I had no time to mention at work, went to doctor on a friday for leg pain, was out of work for two months. Received tons of cards from coworkers but even now after being back to work I'm not sure how many know I have cancer, stage 4. People will ask how I'm doing but never get asked "what happened". I have the best co-workers you could ask for. Some know and I get the comment, "well you look good". Still not sure what that means. I truly believe most have good intentions, it's just if the cancer word comes up, they don't know what to say. I will say the comment "well at least it's the good one, referring to prostate cancer" irks me and I let the conversation end. Best to all.

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1 reply
bens1 | @bens1 | Sep 19 7:05am

@peterj116
I was retired when I got cancer but I have had many conversations under many different social circumstances. Good for you for discussing it. I sort of felt out my conversation from person to person. For a quick explanation, especially women, I would tell them about having prostate cancer and that I was being treated but thank goodness I did not have to do chemo or hormone treatment. For guys, I would apologize for proselytizing and then ask them if they check their psa. I felt if someone wanted to ask additional questions, male or female, fine, but if a guy decided to get psa added to their blood test to catch something early, it might help them.

If you get asked by many people about your health, at least most people care enough about you to bother to ask. For me, the sympathy issue was less important than the opportunity to potentially help someone with info and to this day, answering questions about my experience is cathartic for me. There are so many misconceptions about the realities of prostate cancer, for many reasons.

Good luck with your treatment.

REPLY
1 reply
ecurb | @ecurb | Sep 19 7:49am
In reply to @peterj116 "Thankyou. One of the guys at my daughter's work, on being told about prostate removal, said..." + (show)
@peterj116

Thankyou. One of the guys at my daughter's work, on being told about prostate removal, said "that's ok... at least he's got his other one". What?

Jump to this post

High intellect out there. Lol

REPLY
1 reply
Scott M | @smurphympls | Sep 19 8:33am

At first, I kept my PCa diagnosis to a small group of trusted family and friends, especially since I was still processing it. (14.7 PSA, Gleason 3+4=7 Intermediate Risk due to the number of cores 10/14 showing some cancer, Low Intermediate .51 Decipher, and no spread according to PMSA PET Scan.) As my treatment plan ramped up and we moved towards the ultimate five rounds of SBRT, I became more open about it, especially if other guys asked about it.

And then I did something out of character for me: I started posting about it on Facebook to help raise awareness of PCa and one way it can be treated, In my case, that was a combo six month course of Eligard and five rounds of SBRT. I was pretty open about the side-effects I experienced too, mostly mild but the lack of T really impacted by fitness programs. People were amazingly supportive. And a lot of guys IM'd me with more personal questions, and some pressed their PCPs for their very first PSA testing. Fast forward from May 2024 when I completed radiation to August where my first follow up showed a PSA of .17. And I posted the before and after test results too.

It was cathartic in a way to be able control my own narrative, and not let PCa define me or drive me underground. Everyone is different, but I stand by my own approach. :-). Best of luck fellow warriors, you got this.

REPLY
1 reply
robertmizek | @robertmizek | Sep 19 9:44am
In reply to @bens1 "@peterj116 I was retired when I got cancer but I have had many conversations under many..." + (show)
@bens1

@peterj116
I was retired when I got cancer but I have had many conversations under many different social circumstances. Good for you for discussing it. I sort of felt out my conversation from person to person. For a quick explanation, especially women, I would tell them about having prostate cancer and that I was being treated but thank goodness I did not have to do chemo or hormone treatment. For guys, I would apologize for proselytizing and then ask them if they check their psa. I felt if someone wanted to ask additional questions, male or female, fine, but if a guy decided to get psa added to their blood test to catch something early, it might help them.

If you get asked by many people about your health, at least most people care enough about you to bother to ask. For me, the sympathy issue was less important than the opportunity to potentially help someone with info and to this day, answering questions about my experience is cathartic for me. There are so many misconceptions about the realities of prostate cancer, for many reasons.

Good luck with your treatment.

Jump to this post

Great comment!

REPLY
robertmizek | @robertmizek | Sep 19 9:49am
In reply to @smurphympls "At first, I kept my PCa diagnosis to a small group of trusted family and friends,..." + (show)
@smurphympls

At first, I kept my PCa diagnosis to a small group of trusted family and friends, especially since I was still processing it. (14.7 PSA, Gleason 3+4=7 Intermediate Risk due to the number of cores 10/14 showing some cancer, Low Intermediate .51 Decipher, and no spread according to PMSA PET Scan.) As my treatment plan ramped up and we moved towards the ultimate five rounds of SBRT, I became more open about it, especially if other guys asked about it.

And then I did something out of character for me: I started posting about it on Facebook to help raise awareness of PCa and one way it can be treated, In my case, that was a combo six month course of Eligard and five rounds of SBRT. I was pretty open about the side-effects I experienced too, mostly mild but the lack of T really impacted by fitness programs. People were amazingly supportive. And a lot of guys IM'd me with more personal questions, and some pressed their PCPs for their very first PSA testing. Fast forward from May 2024 when I completed radiation to August where my first follow up showed a PSA of .17. And I posted the before and after test results too.

It was cathartic in a way to be able control my own narrative, and not let PCa define me or drive me underground. Everyone is different, but I stand by my own approach. :-). Best of luck fellow warriors, you got this.

Jump to this post

I had the same experience. I kept the matter very private until a friend told me that he shared his experience publicly to help educate other men (and their partners) on prostate cancer, treatment, recovery , and the challenges involved along the way. I decided to share my journey on my Facebook page. I’ve never looked for sympathy but have appreciated the support I’ve received along the way.

I’m on Facebook as “Roberts Luthiery”. Anyone on this forum can send me a friend request to see my progress and life antics.

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