@debleigl

Please accept my condolences on the loss of Tom. How very difficult for you. I would encourage you to post on Connect's Grief/Loss Support Group. Here is a link to those discussions,
-Loss/Grief
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
You can use these discussion groups to post about Tom, feel free to post about who he was to you and how you miss him. There is great healing in sharing memories after someone has passed away.

Does this sound like something you could try?