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I feel like start running and not look back!
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (124)Comment receiving replies
I’m going through the same. I can’t go outside to take a walk or even to the bathroom when he starts looking for me. He does sleep a lot but I find myself sitting around the house all day waiting for him to tell me he is hungry. Whatever I give him, he’ll take two bites then tell me he is full and goes back to bed. My friend told me to remember the man I married and how it was this helps me to accept what is happening. But I still get mad at what than find myself apologizing.
Replies to "I’m going through the same. I can’t go outside to take a walk or even to..."
I'm actually sitting around waiting for my husband to arise at 1pm and hopefully hasn't left a puddle. Your friend who told you to remember the man you married means well but is not at all helpful. Now is now. Then is then. You are living with the husband who is in your life right now and, for me, it isn't much fun. I just read through two years of notes I've taken about this slide to ALZ. So much was obvious, but I assumed it was just old age; snarkiness, sarcastic use of "Mommy" referring to me, anger issues, frustrations in his inability to do things anymore like use the microwave. Problems with our new car that were his own error. On and on. I just feel at 80, I would like time to focus on my own life and needs. I feel the compass pointing closer and closer to a memory care center for him; space and time for me; a change of role to a friendly perky visitor instead of a bedraggled exhausted caretaker. My daughter recently visited, and I saw what patience she used with him and what a good response she got from him. I could do that for 5 days too. I just don't have an inner caretaker for the long run to my own detriment and his. Looking at the past doesn't do me any good; I appreciate the good long run we had, but it doesn't change today or tomorrow. I hope it does for you.
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@wmehan
Thanks for your response. So many of the things I read here sound very familiar . Hubby ofen eats something one day and loves it, next time I serve it, it tastes like s**t and makes him feel sick. I'm no longer preparing meals that involve a lot of preparation because he probably won't eat it anyway. I used to love cooking and trying new recipes but now it is just another chore to get done. I relish the days when he naps, even though it may mean being up all night with him.
I look at photos from better days and remember what a wonderful man he was. That does help at times, but in the moment it's not always helpful. It sometimes makes me sad for what we've lost.