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Patients "act out" when it's just you there?

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Sep 23, 2024 | Replies (12)

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@laurie22

Just a thought. My husband was angry and argumentative much of the time around me. Then I learned that I was frequently correcting him, telling him he was doing something wrong, etc, instead of letting him do for himself and make mistakes. If mistakes are made I no longer give him a "what were you thinking?!!" attitude. So I have been working to change my attitude. He is my husband, not an inconvenience I live with. Instead I just don't argue back, don't constantly correct him, and when something doesn't go well, I stay calm even if it means more work for me. Things are a great deal calmer now. I remember that I do things wrong, too. I remember to be loving.

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Replies to "Just a thought. My husband was angry and argumentative much of the time around me. Then..."

So true! I ask my mom to not correct my dad so much, but she does it anyway. Drives me up the wall. But, even so, he still listens to her more than me. Lol. Go figure.

I’m inspired by your message. It is incredibly frustrating to expect or even try to change a loved one without cognitive decline so, naturally trying to argue logistically or even emotionally with a loved one with dementia/ Alzheimer’s is useless. Arguing and correcting always seems to accelerate situations- I agree with you, it is much calmer when I let it go. Thank you 🙏🏽 for sharing and the reminder.

My husband gets upset and starts swearing when I have to repeat myself when asking him to do something or just a general request. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. I'm repeating myself because I don't think he heard me and then he can just go off on me and then it sets my buttons off. It is sooo very frustrating cuz he was never the type to really swear... especially out of anger. It's taken me some time to accept it and walk away but it's hard sometimes without yelling back(no swearing tho) when he acts this way. After the episode he'll always say he's sorry and tells me i'm the bestest. It's just another one of the many adjustments i've had to make.