Hvannort-
You have received a terrible trauma that strikes deeply at your emotional and physical well-being.
Having been through a trauma of social rejection far less than what has happened to you, I can confirm that our emotional and physical well-being is deeply interconnected.
I suggest that at this time you commit to giving yourself the most loving, nurturing physical care you've ever given to anyone. Love yourself deeply and trust that your heart is working to lead you to a new life.