I'm so sorry for your news, @scottbeammeup . I could say "trust me, you don't want a metastasis", but that would be disingenuous, because my priorities aren't necessarily the same as your priorities.

Yes, you can live a long time (indefinitely?) with advanced stages of prostate cancer, but the treatments are even harsher than what you have now, so maybe a 3-year window before they started would have been worth it to you, or maybe not. I agree that it's wrong you didn't have all the information at the start so that you had the agency to decide instead of just having it happen to you.

Going into a big, old church was a great idea. They're built to be quiet, peaceful places, whether or not you believe in the the doctrine behind them. Also reflect on the fact that we all enjoy your posts here, and we're glad you're going to be around a while. You bring joy to others here (as I'm sure you do with your standup routines).

Having a future (even if you don't know what it will be) is a wonderful thing, because the possibilities are infinite. I thought I wasn't going to have one for my first few months, and that was a very rough place for me. Even stupid little things like "I probably won't be alive when this subway line is completed" or "This might be my last election" would make me cry (the ADT didn't help, of course).

Who knows, maybe in a couple of years you'll fall in love so hard that the sex part doesn't seem like a big deal any more, and all you want in life is to see his head on the pillow beside you every morning when you wake up. Or maybe something else equally wonderful. It's all out there waiting for you.