Alcoholism is a family disease. It destroys not only the loved one who cannot stop without help, but it crushes the hearts and souls of those who love and care for him. Follow the advice of others here who have directed you to Al-anon (which is separate from AA and is for loved ones of alcoholics). From what you have written you may want to try 1 or 2 or 3 meetings via Zoom first since it appears difficult for you to get to a physical meeting which by far would be best. We wouldn’t want you to be discouraged if the first meeting you tried was not your cup of tea, like consisting primarily of mothers with troubled drinking teens, or young husbands with alcoholic wives. Although the problems and issues at bottom are the same, the dynamic may be different. If you find a Zoom meeting you feel good about, do make the time to drive to it. It may save your life. It may save your loved one’s life. Even if it only allows you to vent with others who appreciate what you’re going through. It may help your sanity so that you may help your loved one and be able to help the others relying on you. I am a 71 year old husband who was put on the road to sobriety 8 years ago at Mayo after 35 years of drinking. This is the best I can offer you. Good luck on this difficult road,