Anouar,
I'm so sorry that you have such a bad situation to live with! That must be very hard for you. However, there is one who thinks you are a very good person and that is God. Just talk to God like he's your best friend, and he is! Tell him all of your troubles and concerns and ask for his help. God will be there for you. He made you and he can help you. You don't need to go to a church or any kind of religious organization to find God. He's right there with you whenever you pray to him. Don't worry with God's help things will get better. I've had many times in my life when things were really bad but when I prayed and asked for God's help, it always came and things got better. So, pray to God and have faith. It will work! I will say a prayer for you also.
God bless you,
PML