Hi @steve1077, that doctor does sound shady, a good one to avoid.
I'll share my experience with you as I elected to have a mitral valve repair before I had symptoms.
I had carpal tunnel syndrome and the examining physician heard a heart murmur so he scheduled an echocardiogram. It showed mitral valve prolapse with severe regurgitation. I never had any symptoms and would never have known anything was wrong.
My first cardiologist told me I needed to let him know when I became short of breath. A new one, whom I saw later, told me there were better outcomes when people had the surgery before they went into congestive heart failure. I had watched my mother die from congestive heart failure for mitral valve stenosis and it was heartbreaking. My husband also was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the time my condition came to light.
I opted for the repair, while I could get it, vs. waiting until I needed a replacement. I got a ring and a clip. I was in the hospital for about two weeks with some complications, but I came out of it okay, five years ago. I'm glad I didn't put off the inevitable as now I'm fulltime caregiver to my husband and in 2020 I developed an autoimmune disorder, which would have complicated things had I not had the surgery when I did.
I just saw a new cardiologist for my annual checkup and he reiterated that outcomes are better with this procedure before people have symptoms.
You said your regurgitation is moderate. I can understand that you don't want unnecessary surgery, but it might be a good idea to monitor your condition so you know if you ever slide into "severe" regurgitation. Before I did have the surgery I think I had echocardiograms every six months.
All the Best!