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I feel like start running and not look back!
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (124)Comment receiving replies
It is not selfish at all, when the times comes for my husband I just pray that selling the house, as a last resource, will give me enough money to keep him in a facility. We have to put our well-being first, when they go who would take care of us ( I mean wives like me who didn't have any children) if we end in bad health ourselves b/c of having endured years and years of that kind of stress?
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@mariana739: This is soooo true.
I'm so burned out on one-sided situations right now that that is coloring my response here.
Yes, there us give & take, but when all it takes is for the other (partner) to communicate, be present (not on his phone looking at cars), look at me when I/ we are talking, make a verbal reply to my efforts at communicating (even an affirmative sound would be something), then I don't know what else to do. None of this costs anything; he won't address my concerns, he knows (I said it recently) he's "killing me" (my spirit, my identity) with his lack of engagement. And this is "caring"? "Loving someone"?
So all I can muster right now is to 'return the favor and shut down myself.
Not very productive, but I'm weary of this vacuum from him.
Sorry - I know "couples counseling" would be the obvious advice, but I doubt he'd do it. And I'm already working with 2 therapists myself.
Such a waste of life & potential.
But if the other won't play, there's not much else to do, is there?
Appreciate the chance to vent.
Not necessarily looking for advice, but if you've "been there", I welcome your sharing.
Hugs to all. Life is short!