tayla, your choice of the word craving is spot on. But for those who haven't really felt the craving for death, it's very different from just thinking or even planning (suicidal ideations) for death. I am not diminishing the thinking and planning, but it is definitely different than craving death. I have been told and I can feel it, it's the release/relief from the physical and mental pain that makes us crave death. I'm am my own ball and chain, wrapped around my neck. Why does this have to exist? It's literally living with your worst enemy inside your mind and body. I don't even get a little help with meds, I can't take any antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds, I only get the bad and super bad effects and zippo of the helpful effects. Maybe I really pissed off the universe and this is payback. Cuz, I would never treat anyone else, the way I treat myself.