← Return to Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?

Discussion

Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Aug 16 2:33pm | Replies (762)
Comment receiving replies
@greff

Thank you for your reply. I am super blessed to have 4 adult children who have been active with helping take care of my wife when I am at work. We all work as a team and my kids are willing to do whatever it takes (although the worst is yet to come). We also have a wonderful neurologist and medical staff that are empathetic and gentle with my wife (which makes all the difference to her). I have researched all the stages and behavioral signs and symptoms that accompany each stage. So far, God has intervened and she has not displayed any behavioral outbursts. I am an addictions counselor and work at a community counseling center with a wealth of knowledge at my finger tips. They have been very accommodating when I need to leave to check on her. I so agree that I will need on-going support and guidance through this trial, as will my kids. Best of all, God has His mighty hand on all of us. Thanks for your advice. Lastly, my heart goes out to you and your family. God bless.

Jump to this post

Replies to "Thank you for your reply. I am super blessed to have 4 adult children who have..."
Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | Feb 14, 2020

Hello @greff I am sorry to read of your wife's diagnosis and your path as a caregiver. My MIL had early onset dementia and my wife fought many dementia-like symptoms during her 14+ year war with brain cancer.

I know every patient, the disease, and their fight through it is unique so I offer only a couple of lessons I learned during my years of caregiving. As a counselor none of these are probably new, but just in case.

First, I saw my wife's family lose (or waste) many opportunities to settle matters early in my MIL's disease progression. Then all of a sudden that window closed and they were left to wonder 'what would Mom want?' or 'what would Mom have wanted us to decide here'. It was unfortunate for everyone involved for sure.

My wife and I used this lesson well and she and I had many extremely difficult, but just as necessary, discussions on significant issues immediately upon her diagnosis. Many were mundane legal/estate issues, but included financial and medical POAs, advance medical directives, appropriate HIPPA approvals for sharing medical information, living wills, etc.

After those we then moved on to the far more personal issues as she made decisions on her final wishes, giving certain personal items to family and friends, made plans to make some amends, and more. As tough and at times uncomfortable these discussions were, they paid huge dividends by bringing my wife a tiny bit of peace of mind, helped me be a better guide for her on her path, and turned out to be extremely helpful to our adult children who were able to totally avoid those 'what would Mom have wanted' questions.

I wish you strength, courage, and peace

VIEW AND REPLY