You are misunderstanding my story, so perhaps I shouldn't be so straightforward. It was never a situation where he couldn't care for himself nor did he ever feel badly about his attitude. He never said he was sorry. He thought he knew best about his health but was ignorant about things, thinking that his control of everything showed his power and strength. He was in denial about any illness because he thought it showed moral weakness as a man, which his grandmother taught him. He thought women should be controlled at all times and told me if he was nice to me it would ruin me. He only liked that I cooked for him and pouted in later years when I cut out so much dessert because of his obesity and diabetes. I had no idea I was marrying an addictive, control freak because I noticed no signs of it before the marriage. I stuck it out for 50 years because of my marriage vows. It never got better. He spent time with other women in our small town and everyone knew it but me. When it did not cause me to leave him, he gave up that nonsense because he didn't like to spend his money on women. In his grandmother's culture, men did not provide for the household. Women had to earn the money to run the household with labor or selling produce. Men in that culture spent the farm income on whatever they wanted: two houses, race horses, automobiles, gambling and alcohol.
Lack of education and social learning keeps some cultures from improving and progressing. Women had no votes or rights and were dominated. This is the culture my husband brought to our marriage. I should write a book. Dorisena