Triggers of Fear

Posted by angiemal @angiemal, Aug 26 3:41pm

I would like to share that last week I knew about a case of Breast Cancer , she was pretty young (35) , her family was collecting some money for alternative treatment because chemo stop working. I was trying to figure out how to help her because I also have a sister that is oncologyst , I thought that providing some guidance or answering questions about the alternative treatment could help . The next day I knew that unfortunatelly she passed away . I never got to know her but knowing about her case triggered the same fear that I felt when I received my diagnosis early this year. I´m 43 and I have my daughter , she´s turning 9 this Friday so I feel some how close to this case as she also had young family...

Wondering if is good to be involved in this cases or is better to keep me at bay for the sake of mental health ....

Your thougths are highly apprecciated!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

We all handle things differently. Your diagnosis is fairly recent so still fresh. Personally, I try to keep worries about cancer way on the back burner . I did recently help a relative after a diagnosis but I am 10 years out and my kids are much older. Most of us have pretty good chances.

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Hi! angiemal:
I am so sorry for what you've been through; however, I truly admire your loving spirit that cares for others!
As life throws curve balls at us along the journey of life from time to time, we - each and every one of us - have different case scenarios and stories to tell; so please do not let whatever happens to others frightens you too much. I know this is easier to say than done... I have no wisdom to share, my friend; but I'll keep you and your lovely daughter in my thoughts and prayers, pray that the gracious Lord guide you, protect you and comfort you directly from above. I am sure you and your precious daughter shall have a long loving journey to share happiness together!
Wishing you & your daughter, and everyone in this journey many, many healthy and happy years to come! Smooth sailing ahead!

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@lifetraveler

Hi! angiemal:
I am so sorry for what you've been through; however, I truly admire your loving spirit that cares for others!
As life throws curve balls at us along the journey of life from time to time, we - each and every one of us - have different case scenarios and stories to tell; so please do not let whatever happens to others frightens you too much. I know this is easier to say than done... I have no wisdom to share, my friend; but I'll keep you and your lovely daughter in my thoughts and prayers, pray that the gracious Lord guide you, protect you and comfort you directly from above. I am sure you and your precious daughter shall have a long loving journey to share happiness together!
Wishing you & your daughter, and everyone in this journey many, many healthy and happy years to come! Smooth sailing ahead!

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Thanks!! I really appreciate your beautiful thoughts … and I can say there is a lot of wisdom in your words.

I send you a huge hug!! Your sweet words is what I needed.

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Hi Angiemar - I can relate, hang in there. I was 38 and had just had a baby, and the cancer was triple negative 3b, with my team scrambling to keep it Stage 3.

It wasn't fear for me, but sadness, great waves of sadness. Some nights after the baby was asleep, my husband and I would just cling to each other in the bathroom and sob.

A lot of my car rides back from chemo and radiation were so just listening to music and sobbing at God.

I think I would have been sad if I didn't have my son, but it made it worse. And it brought up old feelings of sadness, I am sure, too.

I did do therapy all through active treatment, and my husband and I found a wonderful zoom couples dealing with cancer support group, and these helped.

Hugs to you, it is so hard. People would say it was good I had a child because then I could fight harder for him, but for me it made it harder - not being able to care for him, being sad about losing him, all that.

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Hi!
I think reaching out was very compassionate and you are what we need more of in this world today! 💕
As you get older, sadly you will know more people in all stages of cancer and it almost becomes a consistent part of life to be comforting or helping someone going through it. I’m 55 and just diagnosed this year. We have lost 2 close friends and now my best friend’s husband is fighting it. My own husband had bladder cancer but is clear 5 years now 🤞
Most days I concentrate on daily life and don’t think about cancer but there are definitely days where I’m worried, sad and depressed about it. What brings me out of it is finding joy … a concert with my kids, fun girls night out, lunch with a friend, weekend away with my husband….. then I’m reminded of all the good and happy things in my life and focus on that. Also limit reading/researching about cancer because it sticks in your subconscious … I’ll catch up with this board a couple of times a week but that’s it.
Good luck in your journey and know that so many people are with you on it and there are so many positive outcomes!

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@seathink

Hi Angiemar - I can relate, hang in there. I was 38 and had just had a baby, and the cancer was triple negative 3b, with my team scrambling to keep it Stage 3.

It wasn't fear for me, but sadness, great waves of sadness. Some nights after the baby was asleep, my husband and I would just cling to each other in the bathroom and sob.

A lot of my car rides back from chemo and radiation were so just listening to music and sobbing at God.

I think I would have been sad if I didn't have my son, but it made it worse. And it brought up old feelings of sadness, I am sure, too.

I did do therapy all through active treatment, and my husband and I found a wonderful zoom couples dealing with cancer support group, and these helped.

Hugs to you, it is so hard. People would say it was good I had a child because then I could fight harder for him, but for me it made it harder - not being able to care for him, being sad about losing him, all that.

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Hi seathink , yes I do agree, sometimes you’re not even thinking about you but your family and the pain that it might cause for them if you are not around.
Thanks for your message and I hope your healing path continues with the better outcome.

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@meg55

Hi!
I think reaching out was very compassionate and you are what we need more of in this world today! 💕
As you get older, sadly you will know more people in all stages of cancer and it almost becomes a consistent part of life to be comforting or helping someone going through it. I’m 55 and just diagnosed this year. We have lost 2 close friends and now my best friend’s husband is fighting it. My own husband had bladder cancer but is clear 5 years now 🤞
Most days I concentrate on daily life and don’t think about cancer but there are definitely days where I’m worried, sad and depressed about it. What brings me out of it is finding joy … a concert with my kids, fun girls night out, lunch with a friend, weekend away with my husband….. then I’m reminded of all the good and happy things in my life and focus on that. Also limit reading/researching about cancer because it sticks in your subconscious … I’ll catch up with this board a couple of times a week but that’s it.
Good luck in your journey and know that so many people are with you on it and there are so many positive outcomes!

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Yes! …You create your own reality with the thoughts that you put in your mind …
Thanks for your answer I really appreciate your words

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@angiemal

Hi seathink , yes I do agree, sometimes you’re not even thinking about you but your family and the pain that it might cause for them if you are not around.
Thanks for your message and I hope your healing path continues with the better outcome.

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Thank you, @angiemal, and I wish the same for you! My son is now 4, and my scans have stayed clear so I feel much less sad these days, and hope and excitement for the future is returning as the time passes.

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