Good morning @joey333 A Yooper, eh? I traveled a fourteen state region across the Midwest for my final (paying) job and Michigan was one of those states. I worked from a home office while my organization's HQ was in Richmond!. I return to RVA often to visit my bff who lives in Charlottesville and still works in Richmond. I live about 100yds south of the Michigan border where Illinois, Indiana, and Michigan collide. One of my favorite donors lived 'off the grid' in Watersmeet, my wife has family in Iron Mountain, and long ago a segment of my family were hard-rock miners in Ishpeming and Marquette, where my favorite pasty store is still in business and thankfully ships! As a youngster my family of origin took the common, at that time, two week summer vacation. We lived in Cleveland and would make the two day drive to what I thought was truly heaven on earth, a log cabin on the shore of West Twin Lake in Lewiston, Michigan! IIRC it was pretty close to Gaylord, where we went to shop for groceries! I am awash in nice memories! Thank you for sharing!

Small world aside, I believe you should NOT feel guilty at all about your feelings! Not in the least! We, who are closest to our 'patient' are the one most likely to see changes, large, small, and tiny. I could tell the smallest of changes in my wife because I was with her the most. This is just being in touch with your loved one on a bit different level I think. Also being alert to changes is natural I believe as are mixed emotions for caregivers! For me love is always a bit of a Gordian knot and only more so when our loved one has any sort of medical issue. I'd just say you are being vigilant!

Hang in there and I send continued strength, courage, and peace!