Hi Angiemar - I can relate, hang in there. I was 38 and had just had a baby, and the cancer was triple negative 3b, with my team scrambling to keep it Stage 3.

It wasn't fear for me, but sadness, great waves of sadness. Some nights after the baby was asleep, my husband and I would just cling to each other in the bathroom and sob.

A lot of my car rides back from chemo and radiation were so just listening to music and sobbing at God.

I think I would have been sad if I didn't have my son, but it made it worse. And it brought up old feelings of sadness, I am sure, too.

I did do therapy all through active treatment, and my husband and I found a wonderful zoom couples dealing with cancer support group, and these helped.

Hugs to you, it is so hard. People would say it was good I had a child because then I could fight harder for him, but for me it made it harder - not being able to care for him, being sad about losing him, all that.