Yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if life gave us just one crisis at a time, instead of piling them all on?

It sounds like what you need is time. Ask your oncologist(s) how long it's safe to wait before deciding between radiation or surgery. Even just a few weeks could give you the breather you need to get used to the idea of having prostate cancer.

Others have recommended Dr. Walsh's book:
https://www.amazon.com/Patrick-Walshs-Surviving-Prostate-Cancer-dp-1538726866/dp/1538726866/
I read it, and while nothing's perfect, I think it's a good, compassionate overview of the different treatment options available circa 2022 (when he would have been submitting his final draft before proofs for the 2023 publication). Most of it was stuff I'd already learned from my medical team, here in the forum, and elsewhere, but it's useful having it all in one place, and it will help you make a list of questions to ask your own medical team.

If you buy it, make sure you get the 2023 edition (the 2012 edition would be seriously out of date).