Good morning @kdo0827 I am sorry to read you are battling depression too. I know I cannot speak for anyone but myself, however I will venture to say many caregivers battle depression too. I know I did and continue to fight it. It is overwhelming, demanding, and isolating. A tough combo to manage -- especially when you add the critical demands of a patient.

Not that it helps, but our children and I found some help in the words of my wife's neuro-oncologist. He said that with a compromised brain more often than not the patient exhibits their prior traits in highly exaggerated or magnified forms. I know when he said this we realized the traits we were struggling with from my wife were not 'new', but how she had been times 1,000! At least it was an explanation, which did help us a bit with coping.

There were many days, weeks, and months when I'd have paid a king's ransom to hear a kind word from my wife about my caregiving efforts. Then I'd remind myself she was a mixture of deathly afraid, sick, and uncomfortable, which all led to being crabby. Plus in her case the damage in her brain had destroyed her ability to filter and feel empathy.

It is a tough row to hoe for sure!

Strength, courage, and peace!