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Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Aug 16, 2024 | Replies (762)Comment receiving replies
Thanks for your reply. My Mom has been an angry person for as long as I can remember. It’s like an undercurrent. Now she gets very angry anytime I have to tell her no. Such as no driving especially. I know it’s a hard thing for anyone. As she forgets she can’t drive this battle goes on a lot. She is quite difficult to handle. Add that to my depression and I’m just very unhappy.
Replies to "Thanks for your reply. My Mom has been an angry person for as long as I..."
Good morning @kdo0827 I am sorry to read you are battling depression too. I know I cannot speak for anyone but myself, however I will venture to say many caregivers battle depression too. I know I did and continue to fight it. It is overwhelming, demanding, and isolating. A tough combo to manage -- especially when you add the critical demands of a patient.
Not that it helps, but our children and I found some help in the words of my wife's neuro-oncologist. He said that with a compromised brain more often than not the patient exhibits their prior traits in highly exaggerated or magnified forms. I know when he said this we realized the traits we were struggling with from my wife were not 'new', but how she had been times 1,000! At least it was an explanation, which did help us a bit with coping.
There were many days, weeks, and months when I'd have paid a king's ransom to hear a kind word from my wife about my caregiving efforts. Then I'd remind myself she was a mixture of deathly afraid, sick, and uncomfortable, which all led to being crabby. Plus in her case the damage in her brain had destroyed her ability to filter and feel empathy.
It is a tough row to hoe for sure!
Strength, courage, and peace!
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@kdo0827 - you can't help it. Don't beat yourself up. There are times I am so angry at my husband that I go in the bathroom, turn the water on and just shake my fists and cry. There are times that he seems so forlorn that I just hate myself for any harsh word I've spoken. Please remember to take care of you. Is there any way you could carve out some time to do something that would truly make you happy? Maybe a lunch with friends? A whole quiet afternoon to read a book? I don't know about you, but I really need some me-time to recharge. Hoping things get better for you!