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Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Aug 16, 2024 | Replies (762)Comment receiving replies
@IndianaScott thanks for your note back. Up until now, my only way to recharge was to come home from her senior’s residence and sit like a lump on the couch and have some quiet time. I used to do that in my final years of working after a tough day. He’d see my face coming in the door after work and tell me to go sit on the couch and he would take care of dinner. I retired 2 years ago at 67. Now I wonder how I would have managed the mom issue had I still been working. I don’t drive and am low-vision as a result of glaucoma. At that time, my mom lived in a senior’s residence a bus, 2 subways and a GO train away from me and it could take close to 2 hours to get to her. But we were able to find a place at the end of May, only a 23 min bus ride away from us so that is quite helpful, especially since I am there 3-4 days a week. She goes downstairs for meals but was having trouble remembering when to do that so we got her an ‘Alexa’ and set reminders for 1. Go to the nurses office now and get your medication, 2. Time to have your 1st (2nd,3rd,4th,5th) glass of water (as when she is dehydrated which is frequently, her thinking process seems to worsen), 3. go downstairs for your breakfast/lunch/dinner, 4. Goodnight, Rheta. I hope you had a good day. Sleep well - these types of things. And various other reminders to help keep her on track. Of course, she tries to have an actual conversation with Alexa which doesn’t work out too well but generally, she seems to get the hang of it. My husband insists that we take her out to lunch every 2nd Sunday so she gets to see him too which is great. These are some of the things we have put into place to help.
Replies to "@IndianaScott thanks for your note back. Up until now, my only way to recharge was to..."
The Alexa idea is perfect! I don’t know how to set reminders as you’ve done. Can you share how?
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Hi @kathymcl Nice to hear back from you! I LOVE your use of Alexa for this purpose! Genius for sure! Wish I'd have had that technology when we needed it!
That was some trek you made and I am not surprised at all it exhausted you! Nice to have found such a closer spot and that your husband joins in on those Sunday suppers! You are right -- "great" is the word!
You bring up a very important aspect of caregiving -- and that is the near impossible ability of caregiving and holding a fulltime job! For the first few years of my wife' war I was employed fulltime with a remote office in my home. While I had to travel sometimes at least when I was 'in the office' I was home for her. Then I got a new boss. A combination of a new, young manager who wanted 'her own team' and being told I wasn't enough of a team player since my 'allegiance was split between my job and my wife' resulted in her firing me. Coupled with my wife's condition and needs, it was a devastating time in my life for sure In the end we managed by being frugal, the ACA, robbing Peter to pay Paul, and selling a heck of a lot of our stuff to make ends meet. This was the time that led me to Mayo Connect since I was so isolated and irritated in that all I was reading about caregiving at the time was what I call 'feel good' caregiving stories about folks whose employers gave them paid time off, flexible schedules, continued health insurance, or were uber-wealthy celebrities. I wanted to find a place that talked about what caregiving was like for the vast majority of regular folks.
How did you manage your caregiving demands before you retired? It must have been hard!
Strength, courage, and peace!.