Pml, your advice is very good. I’m taking life one day at a time and grateful for each one, but as u can imagine I’m so very weary after 17 yrs of increasing pain until it has become life threatening. I have a life-long Christian so I know I will be in heaven healed and with my previous family members, friends and relatives who are already there. Best of all I will be in the presence of my Savior. My heart goes out to you to have lost your husband recently. I hope you have the support of family, friends and relatives. Plus your church family.