The way i look at your two posts is there is a You1 that says things like, "I live alone and am lonely" and therefore does Not want to be "lonely" but it has nothing to do with being a "joiner" as loneliness can be felt even when you are in a party, in a family with children and spouse, or even with colleagues acquaintances or neighbors. Why? Because in loneliness we crave another person(s) who you can share with what matters to YOU most. Such a person is called FRIEND. It is friend(s) our souls pine for when we are by ourselves, not for helpless children, siblings, or spouses. Now it can happen a friend you may find within such relationships, but that is rather unusual.

Reading your posts it also looks your are looking for friend-like assurances in familial relationships: chatting with one child half the world away.
But it also seem that out of anger you dwell in finding how to 'punish' those who do not provide you with Your Need. So let's say this child said, "I am glad I did 't have to even see Any Money from granny." That will turn Your intention to punish futile, right?

So I'll ask You2, the one that is looking at everything this You1 is doing, with a caring look and tells you: Look dear, you can never control others (yes, slave owner can but even they don't control slave's Thoughts).

But people gravitate towards those whom they find MUTUALLY attracted to, be it just in one area in life or many. That is a friend, you get-and-give with this person. This is the relationship people have with their pets. When I slide my palm over my cat's smooth furry back it straightens to 'tell' me, 'I like it. too"

Daily I spend time to find such people in my life; no luck yet. But I've a few times each week to go new places to seek them out.
We can least afford to waste time on what won't bring us closer to our human need for human connections, whether 90 or 9. I wish you luck, you wish me luck.