Terminal diagnosis: What should I expect in the coming weeks?

Good morning:
I am so very sorry to hear about your mother, and can’t imagine what the two of you are going through.

Just a note to tell you that you’ll both be in my prayers and may G-d and his angels watch over you both and provide healing.

Hello @mulefan I know you are dealing with a ton of emotion right now. I have been in your shoes, sadly, enough times to be able to comment. I tend to the physical demands first, and just keep loving them every day until the end.
If your doctor is saying 6 to 12 months, that is still pretty unknown. If this were my family I would be getting into oncology as fast as possible. They would be able to give you more information.
Depending on where you live and if there are some treatments available to stabilize your moms cancer, this could regress or progress. Right now I would be trying to get a little more clarity into her condition. While there are never guarantees about timing, your moms particular cancer will determine the course.
Are you having honest conversations with your mom about this? Is she open to seeing an oncologist to get better answers and maybe even some treatment to make her body less painful?

People are afraid of the word hospice but I had my mother on hospice three times over 4 years. Hospice is not a death sentence. It is a wonderful way to get services. It is not known widely that you can continue on medications and treatments not related to your hospice diagnosis.

Sadly most people wait until a few days before a person dies, missing out on the nurse, nurse's aide, chaplain, social worker and volunteer who help a lot. Many people do well enough to not need the services for awhile, which is always a possibility.

Thank you for your reply. As it stands she has an appointment the 19 of september with the cancer center in Ottawa. I guess we'll no more at that point. To be honest though seeing the rapid decline in her I don't hold out much hope. All I can do at this point is be there for her

Thank you

Sometimes all we can do, is all we can do. Do you have hospice there?

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom being so ill! I went through that with my mom too and more recently with my husband of 30 years who died of lung cancer a month ago. What you need to do is pray with your mom to God and ask him for guidance. Pray often. Only God decides who dies and when no matter how bad their condition is. The doctors help a lot with their medications and expertise but it is God who makes the final decision. We all have our time to go and none of us know when that is. Tell your mom often how much you love her. Hold her hand and hug her. It means a lot to a person who is so ill. My husband and I told each other how much we loved each other and we held each other often. It helped us get through this time a lot! Ask your Mom's doctor what symptoms you should expect. Hospice can be very helpful. My husband and I did not have hospice. I took care of him myself, but I had experience in the past caring for very sick people. We wanted that time to be alone together to face this. I know my husband is up in Heaven and no longer breathless or uncomfortable. Eventually, we will be reunited in Heaven; in God's time. Your mom will be in Heaven too and you also will be reunited with her eventually. I wish you the best and will remember you and your mom in my prayers.
PML