Connect
← Return to Will I ever not hate myself?
Discussion
Comment receiving replies
I have just finished reading all the posts and this definitely resonates with me. I had a bad mother. She always liked to humiliate and shame me in front of other people and, of course, always told me how stupid, ugly, and horrible I was and that I would be a "lonewolf." This has made me feel other and different. It has also reinforced the fact that I feel no good; that I am bad and must be punished. Not good feelings. I did manage to get away from her and began to lead a more normal life. Married, had children, held down a good job, etc. Now I am a widow and very old. Next month I will be 90. How many more years I have left is unknown. But still many of those negative feelings remain. I live alone and am lonely. Am not a joiner and have very few friends. But at this point it is what it is. I have had some grief therapy and my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD due to child abuse. At my age I wonder if it any use to continue.
Replies to "I have just finished reading all the posts and this definitely resonates with me. I had..."
I had to look to the left to see if I wrote your post. There are many of us who have a very difficult time in these "older years". Haha. I used to say I am "getting older", LOL, it took a few more Doctor visits before I started admitting that I AM old. I will be 90 in January. OMG. I don't like saying it, or even thinking about it...and there are lots of "buts'. Nevertheless, I do not have to look around, because we are everywhere. I avoided the Senior Center, clubs and organizations that I felt I "had to" attend. Now, I have to take a second look and make up my mind that it is up to me to figure out what I can do to stay sane and feel useful. I have a couple of Ideas, so let's stay in touch. You are never alone, neither am I,,, we just don't know where the other ones are! Thanks for your post!
Connect
thisismarylinb,
👍‼️🥇🥇🥇‼️ You deserve to be 👑 crowned as a queen and hero. You DID IT GIRL 🥰 Did your children bless you with grandchildren? I have always liked the saying, " if I had known how wonderful grandchildren are, I would have just skipped the children part ". I hope your children have shown you all the love that you have shown them.
🤪 Since you are just an old lady, living alone, you should just go ahead and keep the negative feelings on the top of your list of priorities to think about. 😱😡😭ABSOLUTELY SO VERY NOT TRUE ‼️‼️‼️ You deserve to be, do, go, enjoy all that brings YOU 🥰🥰🥰 all great joy and happiness and peace. If you're privileged enough to have enough money, to spend your children's inheritance, then go for it. I listened to a meditation on how to help others feel better. It suggested that "sending virtual vibes " can actually be felt by the recipient, if they focus on feeling them. I live out of a small town, so not much light pollution... tonight, as soon as it is dark, I hereby promise, that I will go outside and find the brightest 🌟🌟and I will be thinking of you and all that you have achieved and accomplished in your life journey, I will try to keep a big smile on my face, for you...but I just had dental surgery, so the outside smile might be smaller, but the inside smile will be bigger 😃🥰😃🥰and I will think hard about you, all the super wishes for you. You may think I am joking, but I am not, I will be outside looking up, all for YOU ‼️
I know we are all supposed to practice what we preach, I'm not so good at it, but right now it's not about me, it's ALL ABOUT YOU and how fantastically you survived with your wit and your strength. I 🙇♀️ bow to you and your strength.
Remember, 🌟🌟ShelleyW