I have suffered from anxiety for most of my life, I always worried about everything, had too much fear about many things and my nature was usually pessimistic. I would never understand why I was like this, I couldn’t identify with anyone else in the family that felt like this…I went through therapy for years to find the answers I so desperately needed but it wasn’t enough. I was diagnosed with lung cancer 4 years ago and started going deeper into anxiety and depression, my fears were many and probably not so unique when it came to cancer but there was so much more. A number of years ago I started having nightmares and they were very real, not filled with irrational fears but real events that happened to me in my early years as a very young child … what I discovered was that my older brother was very abusive towards me, he started hurting me even when I was a little toddler, it got worse over time and there were incidents where he was a threat to my life. I don’t want to relate all the things that happened but it was devastating to have all these memories come pouring back to me, of course I had no idea what to do or where to go. I made a foolish decision to try and talk to him about it but he denied everything and went on to tell family members that I had mental issues and even tried to get my children involved. I have pulled back from trying anymore and now I’m going to try therapy again so I can move forward. I believe that all the repressed memories were affecting my whole life and though I have some insight to this I will have to continue to try and get back some of my good traits with help, a long story for a long life.