I'm so sorry about your cousin's death. That is very hard to deal with especially when you are so close to someone. My husband of 30 years whom I loved dearly died of lung cancer a month ago. I understand somewhat, what you are going through. I do know that my husband is now up in Heaven with God and Jesus and his family and our cat, Snoopy. He is out of pain and I am grateful for that even though I miss him terribly every day. I also believe that we will be together in Heaven one day. When we die is totally God's decision and in his time. No matter how good the medicine and care is. I pray to God for help to get through this time and it helps a lot. It is getting easier. Basically, I just talk to God like he was right there in the same room with me. You don't have to go to church or be "religious" to find God. Church is nice and can be helpful but it's not required.

Your cousin is up in Heaven now too with God and Jesus and any loved ones who might have passed on before him. He's out of pain and misery and is no longer scared. You will be reunited with him one day also. Be glad that you had him in your life when you did. Talk to God and tell him how you are feeling about your cousin's death. It helps! If you want to talk, just send me a message. I've got more time now than I've ever had and I'm sure you do too.

I wish you the best and will say a prayer for you to get through this sad time.
PML