@happyjack, You write a very moving letter. I agree with you that decisions about OUR medical care is up to us. I was faced with a similar decision. I have Duodenal cancer and had to decide between the Whipple or palliative care. The oncologist favored the Whipple and my family, a wife and two sons, were on the fence. After reading descriptions of the Whipple and people's experience before, during and after the operation, *I* decided on palliative care. My wife agreed with me and my sons were not convinced. In time they have accepted my decision. But even today, I have been self-assaulted by second thoughts: "Did I make the wrong decision?" "Could I change my mind?" "Is it too late to switch to the Whipple?" Both of us had to make a tough choice, and based on what we knew at the start, there was no right answer.

The best of luck to you - that's what we are hoping for after making these important decisions. It sounds like you are still at the beginning of a difficult path and there are more surgeries ahead. From what I read here and elsewhere, it is best to have a positive perspective. It MAY affect the outcome. It can't hurt. There are some success stories here and elsewhere that might be a good start. Avoid reading about the failures. Those are out there, too.

happyjack, keep us all in the loop with your story. I'm sure there are others here who are want to follow and hope for your success, too. Best of luck.