My wife also had a bladder issue. She doesn't get a nerve signal that she needs to go to the restroom. SO I do a lot of washings. Then she refuses to get any pads to wear and wants me to go get one for her. I lose my temper and feel guilty. But I've found I can go look in a mirror and talk to myself to cure my temper. I smile at myself and repeat that she doesn't know what she is really doing. And I forgive myself. The talking really helps me calm down and regain my perspective. Just like acting out a roll while talking and smiling at myself. You might try this and see if it helps get rid of some of the guilt.

You not alone with these feelings! I wish you lots of good feelings!