Thanks for the laugh. Sure, I hate it. I will do just about anything to keep my gut calm and moving.

Do you eat pureed vegetable soups? You can get a lot of nutrition that way. You can add protein (powdered egg whites, Lactaid milk, and pea protein isolate powder are my easy-on-the-gut sources of protein).

Have you tried kiwis for CIC? They actually act as a stimulant laxative for many. The Golden Kiwi are meatier and one works for me. Two of the smaller green kiwis might be a good idea too. (There is a study on them. Google: NIH, Kiwi, constipation.)