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A question came to mind regarding hope.
Aging Well | Last Active: Oct 13 5:35pm | Replies (110)Comment receiving replies
Notice how people are drawn to reach out to @thisismarilynb!
(This give me hope.)
I think we all know what it is like to feel purposeless, to feel there is no meaning to be found in life. Just emptied and worn out.
We empathize with that feeling, and we want to help the suffering one gain a little bit of balance and momentum. We want to help. We call "Come back!"
Marilyn, we want you to be with us however you can.
Life is often hard and gravity is relentless. It costs energy to live and it takes some kind of emotion to motivate us into motion. (Emotion-motivation-motion, perhaps the same thing in different manifestations.)
Life happens. Our moods and feelings happen. I've been thinking it's a mistake to try to fit it all into a perfect narrative. Situations change. Emotions come and go. Feelings change.
It's not something broken that needs to be fixed, it's the way life is.
There are very painful moments and there are very beautiful moments, and I often don't know what will come next. If I'm open to it, more will come.
Replies to "Notice how people are drawn to reach out to @thisismarilynb! (This give me hope.) I think..."
I love what you said here--It's not something broken that needs to be fixed, it's the way life is.
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I enjoyed reading you reply. Does it give me any hope? I am not sure. Tomorrow evening is going to be difficult for me. On Tuesday, August 20th, it will be the third anniversary of my husband's death. In our tradition, we light a candle the evening before to commemorate this. It will be a sad and lonely evening for me. And I have no idea how I will feel the next day. I still harbor a lot of anger. In spite of the well meaners who tell me it was his time to go, this is not true. He was just stubborn and would not listen when I begged him to use a walker when he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. He refused and fell - a third time. This time he broke his femur and was dead three months later. In addition I have anger against our health system. People don't go to hospitals anymore. They farm you out to these so-called skilled nursing facilities. What a joke. I had to be in one when I had my hip replacement. They do not know the meanings of skilled and nursing and they certainly do not have the trained staff to administer anything resembling that. I called it a hellhole. But I survived and he didn't.