A question came to mind regarding hope.

Thanks for your encouragement. I had lunch with a couple of friends yesterday. One is 10 years younger than me. Yet, physically she is falling apart. I was appalled at how busy she is going to all these different doctors and all these different drugs she is taking. I do believe that all the drugs I am not taking is prolonging my life. It is hard not to be pessimistic. Two of my friends are battling cancer. I know it can strike at any time. Will I be one of them? Who knows. However I continue to get up every morning and try to have at least one errand to do to keep me from staying in the house. The heat does not help.

I too hate heat & humidity. I don’t always stray far from my house. We have A/C but my husband doesn’t like me to put it on. Go figure. Married 32 years. We are so mismatched😳

I don’t have the stamina I used to :)!! Used to walk my husky 5 miles nearly every day. My dog now hates the heat so we are lucky to do a miles a day! My osteoarthritis limits me doing a lot of things I used to do ( hence the raised beds)! Used to do X country skiing but can’t now ( plus can’t find boots to suit my arthritic & bunioned feet). I just substitute walking for those things. I try not to give up hope and not think of what I used to do, just focus on what I can still do.

The biggest thing that sustained me when I was young was my feeling of independence and knowing that I could take care of myself because I was doing it. I had a long marriage. We were together for a total of 62 years, 59 of them married. I would not have let my husband dictate to me what I could or could not do because I had a good sense of that and he knew it. Mostly we worked together. Of course we had our disagreements. Everyone does. But we worked things out and never dictated ultimatums.

There is no ‘ultimatum’ and if I gave that impression it is
totally incorrect If I say I can’t stand the heat I just put on the A/C and that’s it. I never worked anyplace that had AC either so it never came up, if I was hot I brought a fan to work. My employers did not supply any.
I did not get married until I was 45 and was and still am extremely independent. I buy whatever car I want by myself ( I used to change the oil & antifreeze and winter tires by myself) I don’t need permission from my husband to do most things. I don’t know anyone who is as independent as I was then or now.

I’m pretty sure the comments already cover it. Instead of looking inward (at yourself) maybe you should reflect on what youDO have that many of us could only hope for. You have good health. Your mind is good. You can DRIVE!! There are places to go where you can give enormous gifts to others who have less. Ponder on that!

Good for you. If I inadvertently said anything that was offensive to you I apologize.

Aging and loss present many obstacles to hope. My heart goes out to you. Social interactions have been proven to provide much to a person's well-being. I am aware that many people in your age group are not as healthy or available to you.
Maybe it would be helpful to speak with a counselor who may have alternative methods to access more (meaningful) social interaction which could provide something to look forward to(?)

"[L]ost hope of ever having a meaningful life" yet here you are living a "normal life." As an 80 y.o., with life throwing new challenges (must have a nap in p.m.) and weakening sight though still can walk up with 20lbs of groceries often many floors, carrying them from bus stop to 2nd floor, even though there is elevator I've never used.

But what kind of "meaningful" life it would be for me if it did not accommodate by declining abilities and changing priorities, unless I believed that meaningfulness is a constantly moving target. This is how I look at my each day or month. I don't think 'meaning" would disappear from my life even if there is no one left, which pretty much is my situation.

Part of the reason we share ourselves here is to learn from Each Other; that for me is meaningful, in the sense that I am not feel "superfluous" as Dalai Lama said in New York Times some years ago.

For me feeling meaning or purpose is when I can still feel I can contribute to people and nature on this earth no matter how ephemeral change might seem.

I do hope you have meaning -- or find one -- where you feel sense of having done what mattered , even when it looks like a drop in the ocean, As It Always Has.

Discussion fascinating I am a widow my husband died 10 years ago I do have a partner of five years but it is very different. I am 71 and so is my partner we approach life very differently I feel I have hope and he doesn’t. It is exhausting to deal with the person who has no hope. I find nature to be my savior. I live in Colorado and visit my mountains as often as possible. I tried to practice awe and gratitude as much as possible Momento Mori