I am sorry for your loss and understand why you might feel hope-less. One day at a time is my motto so when I feel that way- I think of just one thing I can do today for someone else, not me. I will tell you that when I take the focus off of me me me (which I am very prone to do) and think of using my energy to help someone else, it is actually amazing how much better I feel. I second the book Mans Search for Meaning. I read it twice a year. I am sending you a hug. I have been there!