I relate to what you say here. I freaked out too, just went a bit crazy. I was diagnosed about a month or so ago (I forget exactly. I should have made a note.) and was in shock. Actually, I went sort of numb but scared numb. My blood pressure zoomed up from where it had been at a nice safe level and I was sure I was about to blow a gasket. I messaged my cardiologist many times, reporting my b.p. and my fears. His very nice nurse got back to me quickly and was very reassuring. Eventually, I calmed down. My b.p. returned to normal (I'm on nedication for that), I try to walk most days, and am losing some weight. I'm still cautious--no heavy lifting--but I've had a recalibration of my mental state. I now know I have a dangerous, potentially life-threatening condition. I'm more aware than ever of the preciousness of life, grateful for the life I have, and determined to make the best of things for as long as I can. I've seen what extreme old age is like. Unless you're one in a million (a thousand?), your last years will be unpleasant, to say the least. I don't want to be a living ghost in a bed, eating jello and chicken soup. I don't want my children to look at me and have to respress a gasp at how I look. I cherish my family and my best friends, which is all I really want after all.