Struggling Today: One year anniversary coming up

I completely understand where you are coming from. My one-year anniversary is coming up in September and I've a few bumps in the road along the way. I have an appointment with my OBGYN Wednesday. I think I have a tear and may be facing another surgery. I am also looking at options for a partial or complete hysterectomy. I had ER/PR + HER- cancer with two lymph nodes removed which has very little cancer cells but was enough to consider it invasive. I wish you the best with the closing of you house and praying you have a blessed year.

I just had my first anniversary. Last year was horrible after 4 surgeries and 2 procedures. I still feel tired a lot of days ...no energy. But I'm 83 so I don't know if it's my age or what. My brain wants to do all of these things but my body says no.....just sit a while. Is it going to be better soon?? I hope so. I just feel "old" since last year's experiences. I feel loop sided. My bra slides up on one side..... there's nothing to hold it in place on my right side. I can't wait to get home and take my bra off now. Plus the rubber boob is heavy. But I ' m happy they caught it early and I'm still alive.

Jeannie11440,
I am 71 and I had a double mastectomy last year for ILC in the L breast and IDC in the R breast. I opted for no reconstruction. I didn't like the "official" prostheses either. Too heavy and too hot in the summer. So I bought the lightweight breast forms from athleta.com which are comfy but they kept riding up in the mastectomy bra. I saw that someone mentioned a company that they bought bras and lightweight breast forms from that they said stayed in place. It's the bustedtank.com. Their bras and breast forms are great!! The bras are very soft and comfy and their breast forms are lightweight and the bra says in place! A woman who had a double mastectomy started the company because she couldn't find any bras and forms that she was happy with. They tell you not to size up in the bras because you need a snug fit so they won't ride up. True! But they are real soft so still comfy. Before I found these bras I was using the soft breast forms called Empower Pads from athleta.com. They were riding up all the time, so since I sew I went to the fabric store looking for something to alleviate the problem. I bought a pair of mitten clips, shortened the elastic and clipped one side to the bra band and the other side I clipped to my pants. I did that on both sides of my bra. It worked the hold the bra in place but was a pain to unclip and then reclip when using the bathroom. So the best alternative was finding the bras and forms from thebustedtank.com! They are very helpful if you ask a question online about which products will work best for you. They answer within a day or so. I love their products they are terrific! I hope they can help you and others on this site too. Sending love and wellness wishes to all on this site❤️

You have just lived through a traumatic year! All feelings are completely acceptable, welcome and known here.

Moving is another major challenge even if it’s exactly what you want to be doing. Packing is both physically taxing and emotionally draining … as we come across this or that “thing” that reminds us of something that touched us deeply in some way. Home is where the heart is and you are packing up your heart. ( a bit simplistic but also relevant).

As per your support system, be clear about your needs … you may want to “ mark ” your move with a gathering of friends … but right now is not the right time… let them know that there is a grief that you need to honor and that this anniversary is a tough one … moving may also exacerbate this grief as it’s where you were/are while going through a traumatic year!

Your close friends will get this. That said I have found that friends and family “ move on” with lightning speed as we “seem” to recover but the deeper recovery is a long process filled with mourning, grief, fear, hyper vigilance, dread, adjusting to a new physical reality, dealing with side effects of treatments and learning best practices etc. along with relief, joy, and a hopeful expectation that our treatments have eliminated cancer from our body.

This is why this platform is so incredibly important and generous. WE GET IT and YOU!

Give yourself lots of space to feel it all. I try to visualize my most challenging times as a wave that builds, reaches a point , then flows over and out. Sometimes it’s a storm. Give yourself grace to weather it as we must.

Best wishes for some relief and I hope you are very happy in your new home building fresh healthy memories.

Hugs 🌸

I think you have so much going on it’s hard to distinguish between what you are feeling. I was a Ber wreck coming up to my first anniversary as that’s when my first mammogram, after the op, chemo and radiotherapy, and I actually broke down crying during the mammogram. What you are feeling is natural but you have an awful lot of stress from other situations. I git my 3 year clear mammogram in May, and I’m delighted, but I know once we get into January 2025, the worry will start again leading up to my mammogram. It’s a bit of a vicious circle. Best of Irish ☘️ luck to you x

Only people who have had this disease understand. That’s why this group is so important. Be gentle with yourself. Moving is stressful under good conditions. I am saying a little prayer for you

I have Stave 4 breast cancer mets bones. I just had my 10 year anniversary. I now look forward to each anniversary and feel so blessed to still be here. Over time, you will feel more confident. I remember the first time I didn’t think about “dying” was in 2017 (3 years after diagnosis). I bought a new vehicle with a 5-year loan. Afterward, it struck me that I never even thought about not being here before the loan was paid off. Honestly, that was a breakthrough for me. I can live most days without a thought about it now. I am not going to lie though. When I have a pain, the first thing I think about is that “it’s back” or when I have scans, I’m on edge until I get the results. Fortunately, those times aren’t very often so I live a very normal life now. As far as being tired, much of that will pass. I still get tired because I don’t exercise like I should. But, I can do almost anything I want to do now - mow, weed eat, go on walks, clean the house. Give yourself some time and grace because you are at the beginning of this unwanted journey. I promise you will feel much better!! May you be blessed with comfort and strength!!

You are what all of need. Looking at the bright side of things. You are amazing it’s your 10 year anniversary. ❤️. I have my anniversary date of surgery May 2022 and rang the bell Aug 22 after radiation. 2 years for me cancer free