ADT. Afraid of it

64.

The disconnect is that I know in my head that the advice you and others in this forum have given me is true but I don't yet feel it in my heart, if that makes any sense. I'm trying to listen to someone who advised "have a drink at the pity party but then go back home and don't stay for a second one."

And you're not ignorant at all. There are no sexual activities that gay people do that straight people don't also do, and not every gay person does all of them like you would think if you watch any adult movies (which are so unrealistic they're almost laughable at times).

I *am* doing a lot better mentally where the days are fine--I work, go on bike rides, hike with my dog, visit family and friends, etc. It's the nighttime when the darker feelings start to surface. Have an appointment with my long-time doctor who knows me super well so am going to ask if maybe a short term antidepressant might be a good thing for me, though I'm also somewhat loathe to add yet another medication to my arsenal (pre-cancer I took one med, for now it's six).

There are drug-free treatments for depression and anxiety that have performed as well in studies as medications (often better). The classic is CBT (cognitive-behavioural therapy), and a newer one is ACT (acceptance-commitment therapy).

They can be self-taught, but obviously are easier if your therapist is coaching you through them at first. CBT has been especially powerful for me over the past 15 or so years — a 10-minute CBT writing exercise (dysfunctional thought, list the cognitive errors, rational response) will end a bout of depression or anxiety far faster than any drug could — but everyone responds differently. Also, CBT alone won't work for more-complex conditions like bipolar disorder.

I started with this book, which is a classic but also pretty old now (44 years!):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feeling_Good:_The_New_Mood_Therapy

On triplet therapy including ADT. Some hot flashes and fatigue but as others said push through but also honor your body telling you to rest. My primary physician made a good point, your body is fighting and that takes energy too. I’m stage 4 with lymph node and bone mets. Went from 60 PSA in late January to 120 in May when I had my appointment at Mayo Rochester, was 0.4 in July and as of Tuesday 0.2. I’m 57 so any side effects are worth it to me, every day is a gift!

Great to read comments on this important topic. I'll add a slightly different perspective. I'm 72, was 4+3U with risk factors and completed 4 months of Orgovyx on 23rd January. Now, still, I have persistent symptoms and my Testosterone has not returned fully to normal. I still have hot flashes, ED and I'm 10 lbs. heavier, all belly fat. I'm really annoyed about it, but, thankfully, I don't tend to get depressed and believe "it's better to be pissed off than pissed on" (in moderation). In my most recent contact to my RO asking why it's taking so long, I got the 'you're old' reply and he said, "let's wait a couple more months' before we start adding T back." I commented , "OK, I'll pray not to have a stroke or heart attack in the meantime and don't want to change diet and exercise at this time, although my diet/drinking are healthy and I exercise daily." Note that when I started ADT, I heavily dieted and exercised, ran a couple 5Ks, which helped a lot at the time.

Before taking the drug, I researched it for many months and talked to several doctors and others to conclude it was necessary. I decided that it was necessary and that I did not have a good choice. Lately, for most all challenging situations, I've been trying to practice 'keep your expectations low' and hope to be pleasantly surprised. N.B. I started doing this (low expectation thing) more often after hearing about a speech by the nVidia CEO to the Stanford graduation class. He's clearly been successful using perserveance to overcome life's obstacles.

I'd make the same decision today to take Orgovyx; I'd plan for it to not to go so well; I'd be annoyed when I didn't get the results that I hoped for and thrilled when I did. While my expectations might be low, my hopes are very high and I continue to work towards full recovery or better....Best Wishes!

Well said. My update is - after getting a second opinion with a Dr that was much better at communicating WHY and the risk - I’m currently taking Orgovyx for one more month. I hate the side effects but it’s a sacrifice I became willing to risk for the benefit of having a longer term chance at living cancer free.

I hear you. Apologies if I've told you this already, but I was diagnosed with stage 4 oligometastatic at almost the same age (56). I told them to give me everything they've got, and my radiation oncologist promised to "throw the kitchen sink" at it.

With new prostate-cancer treatments coming out so fast now, even just an extra year could give us a chance of a new treatment that gets us to old age. So sure, my bladder and rectum are a little scorched from a high curative dose of radiation, I have back and shoulder pain from the debulking surgery and radiation there, and ADT and ARSI have given me the usual male-menopause side effects (I went from being a bear to looking like I shave my legs and chest, I start dripping sweat at the most awkward times in public, and I probably should be wearing a training bra 🙂). But I'm HERE, dammit, and every new day is wonderful.

Thank you Sir! I do have hope and am excited about the progress. I hope others on this support group see past the possible negatives and have a vision for the future. My hair started falling out 2 weeks ago and called my hairstylist (who is a family friend) and told her with a laugh it was time for the "chemo cut" and went right over, no time to mourn such a minor loss.
I had a scary second chemo infusion Tuesday, became VERY flushed, high heart rate and almost passed out but the team was amazing! Pushed Benadryl and Prilosec and within 5-10 minutes was almost normal and was able to finish the infusion. My biggest fear was actually having to stop chemo, like you @northoftheborder I'm all in!
After seeing a very close friend die a horrible death from pancreatic cancer within 2 years of diagnosis 10 years ago I'm thankful for the hope I can have that he never could.

Love the "chemo cut." 🙂

When I was stuck in a hospital bed for a while, I just asked my spouse to put the no. 3 attachment on our hair clippers and do my whole head with it. I felt so much better lying on a pillow all day after that, and it was much easier to keep clean during basin baths.

When it grew back on ADT, it came in fine and whispy instead of thick and straight, so I had a new look as a bonus.

I had problems with my first two chemo treatments. tight chest, very red, the staff was very quick to get things under control. I was happy that I could continue that day. After the first two rough patches, they changed my pretreat to include lots of Benadryl. I also took Dexamethasone and benadryl the day before and day after treatment. Nurse's called the effect of the benadryl as "droop and drool". The next 8 treatments went well,, I was extremely excited to "Ring the Bell" at the end of the last treatment. Best to all.