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Travel with Alzheimer’s patient
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Aug 13 11:54am | Replies (6)Comment receiving replies
Thanks for your input. I would have another son with me to help on the travel part. And he would have support while visiting.
The last trip we went on was two years ago to Colorado and it seem to make a negative change in him when we returned home.
I know it won’t be easy, because it is not easy, just being in our house, but I don’t complain much, so no one knows but me. It would be nice to go back home to visit, but don’t want to go backwards. Thanks again. My husband is 85 and it is diagnosed as severe Alzheimer’s.
Replies to "Thanks for your input. I would have another son with me to help on the travel..."
I would lean strongly towards telling your sons, "Dad is past traveling, with his age, and how much his disease has progressed, I fear it would create a crisis when we get home. Please come here."
Also, I strongly urge sharing with your kids how difficult it has become for you - you have limits to your strength and ability. Perhaps describe a typical day - all the accommodations you must make, all the behaviors that occur in 24 hours, even the difficulty you face if he is incontinent. How would they feel if the way they found out all of this was due to a crisis? You fell ill, and they came and found out how hard things are.
If they are caring kids, maybe they can even figure out ways to make things easier for you - respite care in your home a few nights a week so you can sleep, grocery or meal delivery, housekeeping, cooking and/or laundry help, even coming one weekend a month to handle all the "little things" that get away from you.
Please, please let them know how things really are these days! My grandfather fell trying to care for my Grandma, and we almost lost them both. That's when we knew he needed help - he had been hiding it for 2 years. My parents ended up flying to Texas, selling their home there, and bringing them back to Minnesota.
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You matter. If your husband is 85, I assume you are no spring chicken either. Go back home to visit because your life is important too and as a caretaker it would be good to have your cup filled. I'm sure you are running on fumes as are we all. I may have written this before on this site, but it is worth repeating and helped me get the resolve to move. My friend told me: D will be confused in Santa Cruz; He will be confused in Cloverdale (where we moved). You will be happy and you matter. Change is very hard on ALZ patients; and surely not easy on anyone, but it was well worth it. I encourage you to take your trip home. There may be a time in the future when you can't travel yourself. Do it now. You can tread water anywhere; why not do it with friends and family to support you even for a short visit.