My cancer was also hvp related, so I know how you feel. I first chose to just let it happen and was quite calm -excepting- of that decision. really the only reason I sought treatment was for the pain. Tumor was getting larger and pressing down hard, making going to go to the bathroom next to impossible . I pretty much stopped eating because of it and went down to 89 lbs. Then i talked to Doctor MacEwen who said that the pain would be gone in 2 weeks after starting treatment. He was right on. At that point all I wanted was to be out of pain and then I could die in peace. 8 weeks later I was done with the treatment which was not anywhere near as hard as I feared, and 3 months later PET scan shows my cancer as non detectable AND blood test shows hvp virus gone. Don’t give up. Hvp can happen to anyone. In fact most of us have or had it at sometime. Some people just clear it out of their system, some people still have it with no complications and some of us developed cancer. Luck of the draw that’s all. All the old stuff about anal sex causing it is wrong. Yes it is sexually related, but even monogamous people have had it. I had to stop the guilt feelings, like I was being punished for being a sinner. Keep moving forward. There is hope. If I can help in anyway, please just ask.