We moved into this house in 2021, to this day the room who was to be his studio and the third garage who was to be his workshop are still packed with his stuff, tools, wood remanents, etc. If I dare to suggest why doesn’t he spend time organizing those rooms he doesn’t like it and it ends in a horrible fight. The same if I suggest he volunteers at a fancy thrift store close by where I see all the volunteers are about his age. He’s a talker and I know he’d find people he could make friends there with easily, but that’s a resonant no as well. And something I didn’t mention before but hit me when I read Chris’s post is this: since he retired, my husband was always finding things to fix or change around the house before he was sick with this but my opinion about his projects never had or has any weight, if he asked for it I quickly learned the only answer that wouldn’t cause a fight was “ wow that’s a great idea” any other suggestions for a different manner to do it were never taken in well.
To put in a few words he has never been an easy person to live with, so I don’t even have those memories of the “good, happy times” we lived together to think off when it gets though now. My huge mistake was to not have gotten a divorce years ago before all this. As we all know hindsight is a beautiful thing.
Please don’t misinterpret me, I do appreciate every one of the comments I receive here from people who had a better history as a couple before the husbands got sick but I wanted to make my situation clearer so you know where I’m coming from. Thank you all