We visited on day 2 and brought a few items from home. This gave us some conversation starters. We were able to walk outside for a bit and got him settled in for lunch before we left.

At one visit we found he had packed everything in his bedspread and wanted to go home. We were lucky that my husband joined me and mom for first few weeks and shaved my dad. It was a soothing distraction for him and gave me time to put things away. Between me, mom and siblings saw him at least 3 times a week. We sent cards and photos so he would get mail. We stopped letting him call mom because it was too upsetting for her and affected her health. One sister and I took calls if he needed to call. Assurances that he would see us the next days always calmed him.

Around month 2 or 3 he began to think of it as home and visits were easy. I would often bring a lunch and eat/share with him.

I posted about my experience with my dad. That doesn't mean I'm looking forward to making the decision for my husband. I'm right where you are with the fear and trepidation. I have no children to help so it's been easier to put it off.

One thing that helped was that we gave his doctor a heads up about moving my dad. When his appointment came due the Dr. addressed his confusion (( my dad was aware that something was wrong. Said his brains were like scrambled eggs). Dr. mentioned going to a place where they specialize in this. I told him the name of the place we had chosen and he agreed that they were very good. This allowed us to reassure my dad that this was short term. Just until he got better. The lies helped reassure him.