@almostprairiegirl

It is very hard to deal with multiple losses and events in such a short time. I expect you and your family (nephew) are going through the stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
These stages do not always happen in sequence and sometimes are repeated. I lost my sister few years ago, and still have days when still experience a stage of grief. Many of the symptoms of grief overlap with those of depression and anxiety.

You may want to read some of the discussions in the Loss and Greif group:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
You mentioned control in your discussion, everyone wants to be in control, but when things happen like death or illness, we feel like we have lost control.

Your concern for your nephew shows your compassion. But depending on his age, it may be hard to change his behavior. The best think you can do is be there for him and talk to him if willing. In addition, you need to take care of yourself and deal with your grief and depression.

What are you doing to take care of yourself?