Advance stage 4 Colorectal cancer.

Unfortunately this is a difficult diagnosis, suggest you share this article with your questions to the oncologist, metastasis to organs and especially to lymph nodes usually makes this inoperable and 5 years survivals are in the neighborhood of 15 to 35%. Much will depend on the age and condition of the patient, this may be very hard to take but I have found with my cancer that facing the facts is a start to dealing with all that comes next. Suggest that prior to starting chemo, Ensure that you're eating well and getting exercise and drinking protein supplements like Ensure. At my first visit I asked my oncologist if I did not have any treatment at all how long would I have, He said 5 months and that was Stage 3b. Be prepared to ask all questions regarding adverse effects and what to do especially managing the diarrhea and/or constipation.

Prayers for your Dad
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6295185/#:~:text=The%205%2Dyear%20relative%20survival%20rates%20for%20T4%20colon%20cancer,6%2C7%2C44%5D.

I was stage 3c, I agree with finding a protein drink he likes (like Ensure). It was all I could tolerate at times. Also, use the anti nausea pills they prescribe proactively to enjoy some decent meals and try to walk a bit daily. I read on one of the forums that application of ice packs to hands and feet during infusions diminishes the cold sensitivity and neuropathy - it's worth asking about. I lived under an electric blanket for 6 month during chemo and I am normally one to walk around in the Canadian winter with my coat undone! The cold sensitivity can make meal prep difficult - touching stainless steel cutlery, getting something out of the fridge, cutting up vegetables, consuming anything cooler than room temp. I once got a cool wind on my face and my eyes shut - I couldn't open them. Inhaling cold air can make you feel like you can't breath (you can).
Anyways, your father's experience may be completely different, but these are things to be aware of so you can be prepared.

Your original question was about what to bring with you on treatment days.... I usually brought a water bottle and stuff to keep busy. I was still working, so my laptop came with me. I had a chemo bag with sudoku books, crosswords, some movies loaded on my tablet (and ear buds or a headset).

Agree with you. When I started out with stage 4 appendix cancer my team also gave me a vanilla response. I looked on line and I would be lucky to make 2 years. So I made peace with that but also chose to believe/hope I would be one of the lucky ones. I have fought hard, but made sure each day is a blessing …. just in case. It’s impossible to know how anyone will respond to treatment and the road is bumpy. Now here I am 3 years after diagnosis after 2 major surgeries plus chemo + immunotherapy with 2 years of no evidence of disease under my belt. I’m also doing and feeling very well and so grateful for the extra time 🙏

My husband has anal c and has battled since 2011 at stage 0. Now in 2024 he is almost 1 year on chemotherapy, each treatment is a 7 hour treatment. He started with going plan based diet, stopped eating as much sugar as he possibly could, and spent each morning in the sun doing his quiet time. He is down 30+ lbs and it's hard for me to watch. He shares very little of his weekly results, doesn't want to be treated differently - he has 6 sisters who worry themselves daily and also push for info from myself because he won't tell them anything other than he's doing fine. How hard is it for a man to share his updates with his spouse (37 years)? He is strong in his faith and it helps to comfort me some. It is not fun watching.

So happy for you! In the last year I've learned more about life than I have in the past 20. At times I think my diagnosis and treatment at Mayo Clinic was the best thing for me ever!

Prayers for you

I have stage 4 colon cancer as well (I'm 52). It's not easy - but I'm still thriving. I get Keytruda and Avastin, sometimes radiation, and sometimes fluorouracil. It has spread to my left hip bone. However, I understand that is the best place to get it in your bones because it's the most treatable. I work full time (remote), stay very active physically, and gain comfort from my dogs and the reality that for me - it's about living with cancer and not fighting it. I eat healthy and lots of small meals throughout the day to limit the GI blockage, blood sugar issues and the nasty fact that my heart works so hard to digest I lose blood flow elsewhere. I'm down a lot of organs, but I do not need them. I do not have a bag! Do not give up hope. Attitude goes a long way.
I cannot tolerate cold at all anymore. I actually left the Midwest for NC so I can enjoy the outdoors year round. The cold winters here are tolerable because it can be 20 degrees one day and 60 two days later.

It’s often very hard for our loved ones when dealing with us cancer patients.

Much of what you said resonated with me. It was so important to me too that people didn’t treat me differently. I choose not to tell certain family members because I didn’t want to deal with their emotions and worries as well as my own - my own were enough!

I also didn’t want my medical team keeping me closely updated with all my test results. Constructive denial I called it. Having chosen them carefully and then selected my first line treatment between us (Folfiri and Avastin) I only wanted them to tell me if things started looking like we needed to look at 2nd line. A couple of times during the 6 months my team told me they were watching closely as we might be running into trouble but then things would get back on track and it was back to business as normal.

These things, plus my faith He was with me whatever happened, stopped me stressing and instead I spent my energy focussed on what WAS in my control such as diet, exercise, sleep, mindfulness etc. Perhaps your husband is doing something similar.

I’m sure your husband has his reasons but can’t explain them fully, as I can’t! I hope this helps so you might at least be able to chat with him and try to understand why he doesn’t want to share 🙏🌹